The Kind of Love We Deserve

I have a habit of reading articles about love and just recently I bought few books talking about love, happiness and relationship because the concept itself is so intriguing. Love can be one strengths and weaknesses at the same time. I intend to master the art of love as I believe having a loving relationship between self and others play a major role in my overall life’s satisfaction.

One fine day, I visited one forum of discussion. The topic of discussion that caught my attention the most is this, “How to stay in love after 10 years of marriage?” 

I know in the future I will be marrying someone and spend the rest of my amazing life with that person and it is good to know the art of staying in love after 10, 20, 30 years of marriage. So I decided to read all the comments.

There is one comment from this guy that really an eye opening for me. He answered:

Choose unconditional love. Be love to your spouse. 

There are many qualities of my wife that I once thought were the reason why I loved her. But she was in a terrible auto accident and a lot of those qualities were robbed from her but it was only then that I realized that I loved her not because of those qualities but because I chose to love her regardless of her qualities.

This is unconditional love.

If loving the qualities of someone is the reason for our relationship, then our love is in constant threat of change. We can enjoy their good qualities, but we love the person for we choose to be love to them.

If our spouse has qualities we don’t like, then it doesn’t matter for we choose Love.

Of course, all of this is said provide we are not abused by our spouse. Universal love is when we are able to love God, the other, and ourselves. If any of the three are missing, then our love is incomplete.

In the end, our happiness lies not in being loved but rather being love.

To me it is such a beautiful insight. Many of us always find reasons to love the person. And fall out of love so easily just because our partner no longer possessed the kind of qualities we desire. It breaks my heart witnessing so many married couple fall out love  and they no longer respect their spouse just because they witness changes in the qualities. On my previous post (3 life-changing benefits of Meditation) I have share my insight about changes and how to deal it changes.

So, what kind of love we truly deserve?

It is unconditional love! I must admit unconditional love in romantic relationship is pretty rare but I believe it all started by giving unconditional love to yourself. The rest will follow.


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