Defining Moment, Pain and Pleasure

Defining moment noun [ C ]  › the point at which a situation is clearly seen to start to change.

I believe we all heard about this phase before, there are two types of people, the first one is those who wait for miracle to happen and the second is those who make their own miracle.

I used to be the first type of people. I wait for miracle to happen even though I do not believe much in miracle. I did not have any ambitions or dreams when I was 19 years old. All I want is to get just enough grade for me to pass the semester, land a good job and marry my college sweetheart. At that time, never in my imagination I could run a meaningful business, supporting plenty of business owners or inspiring women to get out from their comfort zone. When I looked back, I wouldn’t be able to achieve these milestones if I don’t have the defining moments.

My very first defining moment that changes the course of my life is when I was still a student in Taylor’s University, Malaysia. I received a phone call from my cousin saying my father is hospitalized from heart attack. As the eldest in the family, my heart sank receiving the news as I feel responsible to make him proud of me and set a good example to my sisters so that if something happened to him, he could rely on me. Then I asked myself one question:

What are meaningful things you have achieved that could make him proud?

I couldn’t think of any. But one thing I know, I suddenly feel so sick of living a meaningless college life. I want to be a daughter my parents and my sisters could be proud of. That is my defining moment. All the actions that I take afterwards, leads me to the life I am living right now.

After receiving that phone call, I changed my habits, I spent lesser time with my hangout friends, I bought a lot of self development and business books, I used my pocket money to go to seminars, I enrolled to an entrepreneurship club (which ended up after 1.5 years, I became the President of the club inspiring, educating and motivating young students to be an entrepreneur), I enrolled Toastmaster Public Speaking club (thanks to this club, after few years I got a chance to teach public speaking skills and impromptu speech to government staffs), received Tertiary Merit Scholarship, ran two businesses in Malaysia, came back to Indonesia and start producing waxing products.

Our Business Club received TOP 5 Most Outstanding Club Award
When I was 24 yo, I had the chance to be a coach for Komisi Pemberantas Korupsi (Commission Eradication of Corruption) Republic of Indonesia
Innovating waxing products and maintaining its excellence since 2014

Many of young people like us still struggling to find the purpose of our existence, wanting to do something meaningful but don’t know where to start and thinking all the what ifs.

I have the courage, strength to start my meaningful journey because of that one defining moment. The moment that makes me sick to my stomach that I REFUSE to live the meaningless life that I had even just for a second.

I believe everyone has their own defining moment, so ask yourself “what is my defining moment?”

Another thing that could help us to see the clarity of our life purpose and to create something meaningful is referring to Anthony Robbins’ Quotes:

The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you are in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.

I use the defining moment & pain and pleasure as the reminder to live above my means, always. To inspire, to love, to contribute to society.

Whenever I am feeling down or demotivated, I will always remember my defining moments, ask myself the pain of living below means and the pleasure of living meaningful life.

What will be my greatest pain if I don’t start to change?

The greatest pain will be  letting my family down and all of their sacrifices of raising a daughter like me will be such a waste.

What is the greatest pleasure if I start to change?

Able to inspire hundred and millions of people to make a world a happier place to live.

Because of these three topic of reflections (defining moment, pain and pleasure) I start to make my own miracle instead of waiting for one.

I hope readers could use these three topic of reflections to create own miracles!



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